Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Reflecting

I was just sitting here reflecting on the past 10 years.  Today marks the 10 year anniversary of my journey to Florida.  Oddly enough, it started as a quick vacation for only a few days.  My boyfriend at the time (my first husband) was offered a job and we thought it was a joke and blew it off as nothing more than a drunken rambling of a retard.  We continued to enjoy our sub tropical vacation in February and returned home a few days later.  Once home, we unpacked and resumed our normal day to day activities.  The next day my boyfriend received a call from the drunk that had offered him the job.  It was a brief call and he wanted my BF to be back in Florida by the end of the week.  Of course he was going to pay for the last minute flight, all travel/living expenses, and a return ticket home to drive our belongings to Florida.  It was a lot to process and not much time to weigh the decision.  We agreed that he would take the job. 
With a short amount of time before his departure, we decided to drive to Tennessee and get married.  (A bad idea, we didn't get married-then, long story.)  It would be about 6 weeks before I would see him again and I thought that was an eternity.  He set out on his noble quest and our entire future was depending on this job.  While he was in Florida, I packed, tied up loose ends, and prepared for the huge transition into adulthood.  I was 19, maybe a little naive, and in love.  I had planned a trip to New Orleans way before we had decided to move to Florida.  So, part of the arrangement was that my BF would come back home finish packing and take care of the dog while I went to New Orleans.  I had a fabulous time in New Orleans.  It was right after Mardi Gras and the city was still alive with the same passion.  I believe I stayed drunk the entire trip.  It was awesome!
When I returned from my mini vacation to New Orleans, it was time to say my "good byes" and set out into a whole new adventure.  I have to admit that moving somewhere, (away from my family and out of my comfort zone) was exciting and scary.  I knew that moving out of state was a big deal and shouldn't be a decision made on a whim, but that is exactly what happened.  Once I arrived, I knew I didn't want to leave.  Of course I had my moments, missing friends, family and whatnot.  We were going to get married and build a life together.  A big adventure for a 19 year old girl...
Over the last 10 years I have had many more adventures that completely dwarfed this whole experience.  I have grown in many ways since then.  Some experiences were grand and some not so much, but regardless they have molded me into the woman I am now.  I have absolutely no regrets and cherish every memory (good and bad).  I do miss the 19 year old girl I was, just a little.  I was optimistic, a little naive, and completely untainted by the nastiness of the real world.  At the same time, I don't miss her at all.  Now, I am wiser and know how the world really works.  I also know that if I want something, I have to grab the bull by the horns.  I have grown to not fear or hesitate in my decisions.  I have total confidence in everything I do, now.  I certainly have used every situation as a learning experience and now I am much stronger because of that...
I was just reflecting a little bit.