Monday, November 22, 2010

My pussy hurts, really, it does.

Today I went to the doctor to get birth control.  My husband will be home (for good) in about 6 months and I don't want to get knocked up.  The first trip to the doctor was the usual annual stuff, never fun but necessary.  I inquired about a few different types of birth control & was told to research it myself.  That response should have been a red flag.  So I did.  I, however; am not a doctor, nor did I go to med school, and I don't deal with the side effects or advantages of the different forms of birth control.
So after much debate and for personal reasons, I decided on ParaGard.  It is a non hormonal intrauterine device (IUD) and lasts for up to 10 years.  Sounded good to me.  I should have asked about the insertion (they probably would have told me to research that too).
Now, this is where I'm confused.  Last night I spoke with a friend who had talked to someone that had one inserted.  I was very nervous and a little scared.  Well, long story short, she said it shouldn't hurt.  The crazy fucking quack doctor I went to needs his balls opened and pulled out for what he did (or how he did it, or for just being an asshole).  I digress.
I certainly did not expect this to be a walk in the park.  I also didn't expect the most horrendous pain ever.  Seriously, worse than labor pains.  He didn't dilate my cervix, no anesthetic/pain killer, and NO compassion.  IDK what I was expecting, but definitely NOT THAT!!!  Ok, granted, I don't have a high threshold for pain; but this was ridiculous.  It felt like (what I imagine) a coat hanger abortion.  Then, after what seemed like an eternity of disembowelment, and everything was done; I sat up to see the nurse rinsing the speculum in the sink.  Again, I didn't go to med school, but that is just fucking gross.    
I dressed as quickly as possible and left equally as quick.  I think I have been in a mild state of shock all day (and miserable with cramps).  I've been kinda weak & just relaxing today. 
Oh, and I woke up this morning with a kidney infection, so I've been drinking lots of water.  UGH!